DOMESTIC TECHNERMOLOGY vs. MYSELF

i do like to stream radio4 from the BBC website. the ‘listen again’ feature is very handy as it means i can listen to plays that i have missed and listen to them when I WANT TO. the only unfortunate aspect of this most admirable of features is that you can’t fast-forward or back. you listen to it from the beginning and, although you may pause it, you can’t go directly to the part of the programme that you might want. it’s all or nothing.

in common with many other people i have an electric meter that works with a key. the idea behind this is that i walk to byfleet village and give the man in the shop some money. he then rubs electricity into my key in a technermological way and i take it home, carrying it upright all the way, careful not to spill a single amp. then i pour all the amps into my meter and the meter licks its lips, burps, and tells me how rich i am in electrical terms. the last time that i looked at the meter i was electrically rich to the tune of 25 pees. i meant to get some more but i don’t like walking all the way to byfleet village unless i have to. well, i know that i HAD to, but i thought that you got a sort of credit-zone buffer thing of 5 quids to save you getting cut off.

i wonder if anyone can guess where this is going yet?

today i had a VERY COMPLICATED FORM to complete for the deptartment of work and pensions. it is difficult for me to fill in any forms without being rude and so i decided to listen to a 45 minute play to sooth my nerves while i chewed the end of my pen and tried not to be rude. about 37 minutes into the play my compluter shut down. i was just about to give it a good hiding when i remembered the meter.

you know that look of suffering that oliver hardy makes, to camera, when he has been pushed off a step-ladder by stan laurel and then a brick drops onto his head?
that’s the face that i made.

i went to buy some more electrickery before the freezer went into meltdown and when i eventually got home again i thought that i would finish listening to the play to find out what happened in the end. so i had to listen to 37 minutes of play again because i didn’t know how much i had missed and then i heard the end and it wasn’t very good.

so i made the oliver hardy face again and got on with my form.

today’s best things: swigging and buying a tupperware box for my cache. it cost 1.17 quids from messrs tesco. now that’s value.