ANGER MISMANAGEMENT

i do have a problem with anger. trouty is keeping her head down (stop sniggering omally or i’ll kill you with a big gun) and i’m not surprised. the problems are that nothing works and everything goes wrong…

a water bill was delivered to thirst hall. it said a payment of 416 quids was called for and so i telephoned them, at my expense, and said that i haven’t got any money and pointed out that a bill for 3 years worth of water all in one go was a bit much. they thought that a payment of 9 quids a week was reasonable but i did not because i only get 54 quids a week. so i went to see the good people at the dss, again, at my expense.

no prizes for anyone who can see where this one is going because it is frankly far too easy.

‘lay it all down’ by john martyn is a good track. in fact i’m going to have it on again because it soothes me and i realise that if i kick the fucking shit out of my compluter i won’t be able to hear it. and i just put norah jones on as well. so i’m calming down a bit. poor trouty; she has gone to hide in another room. i’m a monster.

‘come away with me’ by norah jones is a soothing ballad. it is on here now and it was on in the pub after i’d been to see the miserable shits at the dss. the first time i went there i saw a fellow who could neither read nor write. as i am so helpful and love my fellow man i helped him fill his forms in for a crisis loan. a little later that day i saw him at woking station; he was so pleased that they had given him over 70 quids and he was going up to london to buy some heroin. what do you think i got?

‘don’t know why’ by norah jones is a bit of a relaxer but i’m getting annoyed with my lovely self for listening to this old bollocks. i’m so angry that i haven’t eaten, trouty is staying well clear, the tight knot of misery is working in my stomach and the black tsunami of depression has crashlanded on thirst beach again.

what do you want from me? i have every right to feel as i do and if you don’t want to read it you don’t have to. neither do i have to put up with the easy listening sounds of norah jones any longer. i’m rummaging for the darkness and for jimi hendrix. aaah, that’s better…

‘voodoo chile’ by jimi hendrix is a top tune. i remember when jimi died and seeing the fab posthumous strobe-lit thing on TOTP. i’m breathing more easily now. the intense white heat of anger is fading a little.

‘i believe in a thing called love’ by the darkness is fantastic, pomptastic really. if you ever feel so miserable that you want to smash your head against a wall then…

oh, what’s the fucking point?

what on earth is the fucking point?

there isn’t one. sorry to have taken up your time. bollocks to everything.