BLOGGER HAS MOUTH WASHED OUT WITH SOAP AND APOLOGISES

i would like to apologise to anyone that i have offended by my extensive swearification of yesterday.

the strong language content that appeared from the start and throughout the show was brought about by a combination of rage, fear and strong swig quaffed in the company of vodka mick in woking. i’m not sorry that i did it but i am very sorry if i upset anyone apart from myself - i never want to upset anyone really, i’m just not very good at coping with life at the moment.

here’s what happened to me today:
i went to the doctor and got signed off indefinitely (or, rather, ‘indefinately’ [sic]. hee hee, even my doctor can’t spell, although he is a lovely man and the best doctor that i have ever had) with alcohol dependency. this means that i will never work again and that for me the war is over. so i had better get used to poverty, or rather even more poverty, never having had two bobs to rub together in the first place.
then i went to my brother’s shop to give him a birthday card, a lottery scratchcard and a tin of ‘black bullets’ sweets from yorkshire. but he wasn’t there.
then a minor miracle occurred. it was pissing down with rain again and trouty wanted to get a cab home but i suggested a trip to the bus-stop to see if there might be one arriving at some stage this week (public transport around these parts being best described as ‘arse’) and just as we got to the stop a bus pulled up and on we hopped. we were delivered home for a mere two quids. i think that god who does not exist cannot have recognised me because i had my hood up. so that fooled his all-seeing eye.

when i got home i thought i should tackle the problem of my feet which feel as if they have too much blood in them, so i went to bed and listened to the radio and went to sleep for a bit while my blood went to my head for a holiday.

after a bit i got up and tried to summon up the courage to look at my blog. i was fearfully expecting to see that a blog nazi had cancelled it due to too many rude swears in there from yesterday. but they hadn’t and, to my amazement there were actually nice messages in there instead. so i felt a bit better about things all round.

i would like to thank everyone for their kind wishes and considerations and to apologise again for being drunk and unpleasant yesterday. i’m very sorry.

good thing what i done stat: posted a link on fave things so that everyone can, ahem, acquire ‘uncle’ books
best thing listened to today stat: a ’steptoe and son’ from 1972 off of BBC7, it was really funny
cache stats: two people found ‘weyside wander’ today, in the piss-down rain and all

gentle reader, i’m sorry about yesterday. you know how you sometimes see a boozed-up tramp having a fight with himself on a bench and shouting incoherently? i think i must be the cyber equivalent. sleep well and leave the swigging to me.