14/6/2010

RUBBISH THINGS

Filed under: — henry @ 9:19 pm

“Press 1 if you want to waste some money. Press 2 if you are stupid. Your call is important to us. Press 1 if you want to waste some Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. If you are an idiot please press your head against the wall; no, harder. We value your customer opinions so please press 39347734739834 if you would like someone who can’t even speak fucking English to talk rubbish to you.

Please press 367-86766-67637 if you like Vivaldi. If you would like like a depressingly long wait, just press 7.

If you want to grow some opium please hold the line.

We are experiencing a great deal of demand at the moment (we haven’t got enough staff) so you may have to wait a few Wagner’s Ring and the whole of the Pink Floyd moments.

“Hello, this is”

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring".

Comments

Been there, done that

Comment by lordhutton — 15/6/2010 at 6:23 pm

Yeh me too. Today is my birthday and I feel like shit. What a fucking load of shite ! How funny after….after what yes 30 years I remember your birthday and you haven’t got the foggiest idea when mine is.

Comment by Anonymous — 15/6/2010 at 7:33 pm

Ah but, you believe in all that stuff.
Me, I celebrate nothing. There is nothing,and, I repeat, nothing worth celebrating. Save the Winter Soltice I can’t think of a single thing worth having a go at.
And, if you think that I don’t know who are, which I do, how about a walk around Penn Ponds?

0 I IX III II, VIII V IX, VIII II VIII.

And many happy returns.

Comment by Henry, the parish nuisance — 15/6/2010 at 10:23 pm

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