Seeing as how the Hornby Dublo trainset that exists around here can’t cope with a couple of inches of snow and, seeing as I was supposed to see Doc Holiday, I decided to hoof it.
It was quite a nice day but the black-ice was treacherous. I reached the surgery bang on time, had the chat and then went to the bank. Oh dear - I am a ton in the red.
I bought a little basket of stuff and made for the tills.
At the ‘baskets only’ thing there was a woman in front of me. Well, that’s alright because I’ve got all day anyway. So I stood and waited and then I heard the magic words:
“Oi, you.”
Then I got a prod in the back.
“There is a queue, you know.”
Well, to me, a queue is a line and not a load of morons bumbling about. The man who had prodded me was about my age (although I look much younger) and he was in a right strop. Now I don’t much like being ‘Oi youd’ and I certainly don’t like being prodded. I explained that I wasn’t aware of being a queue jumper and made my apologies and and retired to the rear of the milling crowd.
I started to converse with a nice lady. She said, “Look - till rage", and it was the same bloke going raving bonkers. All I had was an apple and some Aunt Bessie’s spuds (no chance of them thawing out) and then the fight nearly started. There was a woman paying for some stuff and matey started chiming in and then another bloke thought it would be a good idea to have a go. The row really started to kick off.
Scummer number one could have been decked with one good punch but I had decided to behave myself and so me and this lady just shook our heads. We talked about the weather. Then, the alert supermarket team sprang into action and fired-up all tills.
Outside, in the carpark, I nearly got killed by a man in a 4X4 who had decided to drive on the pedestrian walkway. Another woman said, “You just can’t believe it, can you?”
The trains were dead. One broken at Berrylands and so I started talking to a fellow and we had both lived in Berlin. He was ex-services but I never told him what I did there. He probably thinks I did ’secret’ things.
I drank my coffee and walked home.
I’m now friends with a neighbour and, hey, Omally might well be arriving soonish.
Don’t forget to hold hands when you cross the road.
H.