Thanks for your comment lh. My family and I lived through the Nazi bit - and suffered / lost a great deal as a result. Others suffered terminally. I have no time for Nazis.

BUT - no-one is LISTENING to many people (which includes me) who are seriously unhappy about the damage being done to our country and our way of life. In many ways.

STUPID politicians and so-called media people going ‘Blah-blah-blah down with the BNP’ completely miss the point. Half a loaf is better than no bread. If none of the ‘big’ parties are listening to me, and so many others, with what choice am I faced? Abstain? Well that’s a waste. Vote for a mainstream party that fails to recognise my problems? Well that’s stupid. So vote for the least-worst. Called BNP or Burn-the-house-of-parliament-down party or whatever. I want to be HEARD. And no bastard is listening to me - or all the others.

If you’ve got a better suggestion - tell me. I don'’t want bloody Nazis - but I don’t want my Country / Nation demolished. And that’s what’s happening. Go on - tell me who the (xxxx) is trying to save my Country?

Yours in a sense of enquiry -

Dad

Hi Tammy - Many thanks for your question.

Answer 1 - ‘The new negotiating edge’ by Gavin Kennedy. But this was published in 1998 and I have no idea about subsequent books - ‘cause I write my own stuff.

Answer 2 - I have a big professional library of about 1,000 books with about 15 Negotiation books in it. But they are all ‘heavy duty’ stuff and not written for an 18 yr old or their needs. Now I’m also a qualified Mediator and mediation skills are being taught in some schools here so that pupils can mediate between warring youngsters to resolve arguments / problems.

I have a proposition. If you send me a one line e-mail to windsor@power-base.co.uk so I’ve got your private address I’ll send you a series of e-mails making up a short course in negotiation skills / mediation principles that I hope will help and are more suitable for your son. Not just text - pics too!!! (Well, clip-art) This goes for anyone else with the same interest.

My reward? Your approbation. A kindly light in Heaven. Real pleasure for me because I’d love to help. Oh, and the occasional envelope of used bank notes in no particular number order. Or Malt Whisky.

Hope this would help you and him - very glad to be of service.

Cheers -

Dad

Well it’s Sunday, it’s overcast and it’s cold. So soddit (a management term) I turned the heating on. Playing Brendan Croker now having played the Eddie Calvert dear Henry brought me when he visited.

I’ve finished the handouts for the Coaching Session I’m doing on Tuesday about Negotiation. This is a life-skill and should be taught in school. Another frustration. Herself has a stall at a Dolls House Fair in Southampton. Oh I hope she has a good day. She is so good at it all. Back home at 6 o/c. Can’t wait.

So why, I wondered, is there ANOTHER Bank Holiday when we just had Easter? Apparently it is to appease Socialist Workers. Now there’s an oxymoron if ever there was one. No socialist ever knew how to work. Don’t believe me? This evil train wreck known as our government (no cap letters deserved) just LURV the money and the perks. Can’t do the work. Some of them are simply too thick and stupid - others are clearly mildly capable mentally (but only mildly) but have no common sense.

Of all the things to ponder, the most difficult is the mental state of the woman who allowed Prescot to bed her. Whilst I believe that we all have values - who in their right mind would couple with Prescot? M or F. He can’t speak the Queen’s English and punches people - quite apart from his personal socialist views to which he is entitled. But he’s messing with my country - something to which I do not see him entitled. We’ll just talk Councillors and Voters Rights here. Trashed by a bloated and unpleasant peasant. That poor woman. Just think about it (but only for a moment)

Could my life get worse? Yup. Brown could become the PM.

If you know who the Hell is voting for this lot - please, please would you influence them to think (assuming they can). Personally I don’t care who the Hell else they vote for. Anyone else will be better.

Which, of course, brings us to the BNP. SOME of their ideas are naff. BUT some of their ideas make sense. Trying to shout them down is stupid. Listening to their message and recognising that many people have political problems today which the ‘clean’ parties don’t address would be sensible.

What’s Dad’s thought today? Around half of the message you send to people comes from how you look. What message are you sending?

Cheers all - Dad

It’s cold, it’s raining spasmodically and I’ve got the hump. I’ve refused to go to the gym. So I’m indulging in displacement activity instead of doing the chores I’ve put off. But I’m playing Eva Cassidy - so that’s good.

Herself is beavering away hoping to complete preparations / manuacture for the Dolls House Fair on Sunday. She’s also getting geared up for the celebration of her Mum’s 80th. shortly. Dad is v. ill and so everything’s crossed about that but there’ll be a big turnout on the day. Swish disposable plates / glasses etc bought from Makro and a sort of square tent (gazebo?) bought. Our rather nifty picnic box unearthed which is electric powered and either cools stuff or keeps stuff hot depending which socket you plug the power into. V. clever it is - and it can work off the car too which is v. handy. Phew!

Oh, and I’ve phoned ANOTHER plumber. Our Council puts round a leaflet called Checktrade which lists tradespeople who have been vouched for by locals as doing a good job and not ripping you off. When they come to do a job they give you a card to fill in and return to the Council to say if they did a square job. A bit like the e-bay system of stars and feedback ratings.

Well, a while ago I had the inevitable problem of a few dripping taps. New washers needed. Also the kitchen sink mixer tap was knackered (that’s an obscure engineering term). Well although I’ve changed many a washer in my time, I couldn’t be doing with this stuff because I took a look at one as a sample and tap-teknolodgy has moved on since my day. (I can’t fettle my car any longer either. It’s all a sealed electronic mystery. If you can’t do it with a hammer and a spanner it’s out of my reach). But the thing about changing tap washers is that you don’t just change one or two. If it needs doing - you change EVERY tap washer in the place. Otherwise, if you only change the dud ones - there will be other dud ones along shortly. Not worth the trouble.

So I get Plumber No.1 in. He comes mob-handed with apprentice in tow. ‘Change all washers / fix shower / replace kitchen mixer tap. Take you about 3 hours’. 5 hours later, I ask if all done. ‘Yus, Gov’ ‘Oh good. How much less for cash / no invoice needed?’ ‘!!’ (Must protect names and etc) ‘I’ll just have a look around’ ‘Ah, well -’ Ah, well he couldn’t get the top off THAT tap; he couldn’t fix THAT stop-cock; the kitchen mixer-tap was an obscure mystery; the shower tap was an even deeper mystery. And stopping the shower hose leaking required re-building the shower wall. Oh goody-goody. Pull old stunt about taking out wallet and saying ‘That’s all the money I’ve got’ (If you guess well enough and prepare wallet first it works every time) and they leave.

Then there’s plumber No.2. By then I’ve found that certain ‘fixed’ taps don’t work that well and one won’t work at all. The short story on that is that there is a spare washer stuck in the tap-outlet and the tap won’t work anyway. He fixes the ‘anyway’ and I get the spare washer out of the tap myself. Kitchen tap replaced. Can’t do the stop-cock.

Now? Both taps in one bathroom basin won’t work. Stop-cock still duff. Will solve another tap problem myself.

When I was a lad, ‘tradesmen’ as they were called - as a mark of respect in the community - knew what to do, did it, got paid and kept every customer they ever worked for. Now? The usefless, hopeless, skiving, miserable bastards (another engineering term) outnumber the few remaining good guys - and, increasingly, women. Though they’re not perfect, either.

Ignoring, for now (no future respite, dear readers) problems with so-called ‘gardeners’ I’m re-planting my front garden. So I need a whole bunch of plants and I don’t want the same-old that you can see anywhere. I put a list together and send it to three big local suppliers. Two operate as an unthinking / unfeeling machine for taking money from you. Then there’s the third one. Every time I’ve been there, whoever I’ve spoken to has been kind, pleasant, knowledgeable, helpful. You name it.

So I send them my list and I get Pete on the phone. He’s keen, helpful and great. I met him yesterday to talk about what I should buy / how much etc. He’s mid-thirties I guess, dressed for the job, shaven head, one diamond earing, London accent. And the nicest guy you could find. We got on like a house on fire. He couldn’t have been nicer or more interested in what I was trying to do with a small patch of earth. He’s going to add my more unusual plants to his orders this week and give me a deal. He was so nice. Now that’s just the kind of person we all need in our currently shattered and sick society. More Pete’s and fewer bliars.

Reading that over, I think that’s a rant. But it’s a rant on behalf of us all. There ARE Pete’s out there. Let’s find them and nurture them. I’m heart-sick at the way my country is descending into crap. Somehow we’ve got to stop it. Support your local Pete!!

Yes well that will mean nothing to the Colonials reading this blog and for whom we remain responsible. (Chin up! You’re not doing too badly - you just need more help from your Motherland).

Today’s thought? Think long term, not short term. Today’s failure doesn’t mean total failure. Merely a short term hiccup. Whether you are working on a change for yourself or a change for your community / government / whatever - keep going. Keep punching. The question is can you outlast the ‘enemy’ - whether that is personal to you or a wider issue. You can do that, you know.

My love to you all - Dad

I don’t know. You don’t see your sons for years and then two come along together. (For Colonials - that is a joke-line about London Buses. Oh, never mind)

Phone call yesterday - ‘Oh Dad - -’ So today I have two lovely sons in my lap (so to speak) Re-jig Plan A because it is the F1 Italian Grand Prix so we must record that and watch it later. The Towers is not up to spec so there must be tidying and Hoovering and such. Lunch is easy - orgasmic meat, steamed org. veg and a gorgeous fruit salad with cheeses if you want. I said to Herself that would do fine.

So Henry and his brother appear in brother’s superb work van (cor) and delight our day. Superb single malt whisky for me, flowers and etc for Herself and a St.George’s pot of lovely red rose plants for me.

Oh, we’ve had such a lovely time. Henry has some photos so you may have to suffer them on his blog. But I love them both so much and having them here was wonderful.

I just wanted to share that with you.

Dad - REALLY!!

A gentle evening time and Don Williams playing quietly.

Well I hope you all had a Happy Easter. Herself was busy making teeny-tiny garden stuff for an up-coming Fair and I was - well - here too. But I had a problem.

For some reason the Word Press set up I use for this blog had saved a draft of my last blog. So I tried to get rid of it. Well, I must have pushed the wrong whatever because all of a sudden it sulked and demanded ‘Log In’. Well that was new. Doesn’t do that normally. Log in name? Thinks. PING! it must be Dad. Then Password? How would I know? So it said Forgotten password? Yup. Click on the button. PING! By return a mail from no known address saying Log in is Dad (told you), password is something like 123gh45. Oh good. Except it won’t work. Three different times, three different passwords. Nada. So I gave up and mailed Henry who, very sensibly, was a-boating and being happy with Trouty. But Bless him, he rescued me today so HERE I AM AGAIN!! And I promise not to mess with it ever again.

I’m an old mechanical engineer. In my kind of engineering a piece of kit is GUARANTEED to do EXACTLY the same thing every time when you push the same buttons. But computers? Huh? Mine regularly sulks when I turn it on and WON’T DO IT. So I have to turn it off, and on again, and then it works. What the Hell is all that about? And why has this kind of inconsistency been accepted for all these years? If I bought a machine / car / plane and SOMETIMES when I started it and engaged first gear it shot backwards and turned a circle I’d have sent it back so fast it would have had tears in its eyes. But we accept that computers have minds of their own and we can’t say ‘not to spec’. Weird.

The Garden Project has been taking up some time. If you haven’t tried it I commend to you the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) Web site for finding plants that will match certain criteria. Magic. So now we have the new planting list for the front garden. Wow! (God alone knows what it will all cost). But you’ve spotted the flaw, haven’t you? I have to get the plants here first. We have various Plant Nurseries around here and three of them are really v. good. So having compiled a Plant List with quantities and Latin names and the whole nine yards, I phone each one up and say ‘Want plants. Pls. advise e-mail address so you can tell me if you have them / how much’. Ah, well. REAL Nurseries are plant-centered not customer-centered. Let’s not do it the way that’s easy for me. So I’m still waiting for them to get around to reading the faxes I had to send and answering me. I did ask for info today -but hey, who am I?

Well that’s about it for now. But what am I pondering today? The fact that prejudice makes people deaf.

Lots of fuss in the UK about the BNP - a.k.a. the British National Party. (OK, those of you in the Colonies, think about parallels in your own new territories) It stands up for the kind of things its name suggests. But recent surveys suggest 1 in 5 people Nationwide and 1 in 4 in London might vote for them in the forthcoming Local Elections. Journalists and spokes-people from other parties use demeaning language about the BNP and decry their objectives. Dear me, they are so hot under their several collars. So far they are so busy being nasty about the BNP they are not saying ‘ Hang about - WHY are so many ordinary people even giving this lot the time of day?’ Answer - because there are sundry problems simply not being addressed by any of the less extreme parties. And ‘extreme’ is a joke because whilst politicians make a noise about us living in a democracy - we actually live in a totalitarian state. Prezident Bliar (sic) rules without bothering with Parliament and anyway, only about 25% of our population voted for his totally destructive and vindictive party. What democracy?

But back to my point. We need to use empathy, not sympathy. Understanding WHY someone holds the point of view that they do without necessarily agreeing with it. If we can’t understand where the pain is coming from - we can’t try to take it away. Braying in the media that the BNP are horrible misses the question. And the need. If no one listens - we wind up with a BNP Solution. And we all know who used that word before.

It’s great to be back. Many thanks, Henry - and never forget how much I love you. And my love to you all, as well. Dad

Evening time now. Quiet music playing, sleep impending.

Firstly many thanks for kind comments. They helped even more than you might think.

Next, a better day today. Herself is off tomorrow to stay with her sister and have a Stand at a Dolls House Fair. We’ve been working together on it and I think it will look great. All I can do is hope for her. I do so want it to be a success. She works so hard and really deserves it.

I’m going through a period of ditching stuff. Files. Problems. Irritations. I’ve also got a Coaching job to do on Tuesday and have yet to think what I’ll do - and also have to create the materials. Time enough over the weekend.

I wonder if one re-thinks one’s life every 10 years? If not, perhaps one should? I’m facing the great tumbling dice in the sky - my Mother died shortly before she was 100. So have I 1 year to go or ’some’? The Great Croupier Above is the only one that knows. Project Management with such an unknown completion date is a bit of a problem. I had a nice chat with a ‘Financial Advisor’ (young enough to be a grandson - not a son) this morning. Much food for thought. He wondered if I would be splashing out on ‘fun’. Slow horses and fast women? I asked. He is too young to have heard the term. I enjoy my vices - which do not include either of the above - (I’m in enough trouble with the vices to which I am addicted) but I was clearly sadly boring for him.

Tonight’s thoughts? Take pleasure in small things. A flower. A delicious meal. A moment shared with a loved one. As these moments fly past, retain a small element of pleasure. The moments accumulate and serve to offset the occasional blistering blast of pain from which we all suffer.

Sleep well and in go in peace. Dad

A lovely sunny day here. Playing serious classical music - because I am next door to tears for some reason.

BUT what a lovely thing. I can’t ‘do’ the garden any more so I looked at the local paper and phoned ‘Julian’. Come and re-create the front garden which is looking awful. He did and we agreed terms. Chatting about our lives - he worked for my company! Not just that but he won the Best Sales Award 3 moths in a row. Which meant that his name is on the Windsor Cup. Which it is - because the W Cup is in my office. I took it out to him and we bonded. It’s a very small world. And he’s doing a v. good job.

Part of the problem is that I can’t see myself as ‘old’. But, in some people’s eyes, I am. My head is not where my body is. I’ve disappeared off the screen. Except in my head.

I’m having a really bad day.

Dad’s thoughts today?

We all live with a belt set tight around our aspirations. No, I can’t do that! WRONG. Burst through the belt that chokes off your aspirations - you can do more. You can do better. You can fly. Believe me.

My love to you all - your Dad

Some things in one’s life are very private. There are some things that one feels outsiders should not know about. NOT that one is ashamed - oh no. Just afeared that others will fail to understand and - even - scoff at if they knew about them. So I’m having a bravery moment.

Some years ago Herself and I were in Austria for Christmas and the New Year. Aaah! The snow. The Christmas Fairs. The music. The whole nine yards. Magic.

Came Christmas Morn. ‘Happy Christmas, you!’ ‘And you!’ Because we are not super-stars with private planes we had small luggage and so could only carry small Christmas Presents for each other. Something serious and something for fun. A small bear. With a hat. And a charming face. Happy to be released from his cramped quarters in my suitcase. An instant hit. ‘What’s his name?’ Quick thinking here. ‘Bartholomew of course’. ‘Oh, yes, of course’.

Since then B.Bear has been a central fixture. He has his own Passport and Officials smile when we present it - and they stamp it as well. When we go to France he sits in the car windscreen holding the Parking Ticket and we return from the Brasserie watching passers-by looking and smiling at the Bear with the sunglasses and the straw hat holding the ticket. Oh yes, B.Bear has his own luggage, a range of hats (he likes hats) and a range of clothes with which to travel.

It gets worse. We went to Paris (as one does). Somehow Bartholomew acquired a small white and brown dog. Oh, consternation. What kind of dog was it? A Gaulloise. Of course. His name? George. George is a real pain. He assures us that he is a City Dog and despises Country Dogs who chase rabbits and get all muddy. Ugh! He also has no time for anything / anybody / any animal that is not French. But when we sit in a cafe George sits on the table with Bartholomew - and they chat about the scene and no-one is at all surprised.

Of course Bartholomew and George talk to us - we help them a little. They lighten our days and we adore them.

We’ve never had so much fun.

I’m having a bad day today. So I’m leaning on my friends to help me. Just think. Perhaps the person you are talking to is having a bad day - but you won’t know. They see you as a stranger and won’t tell you how bad their day is. So help them. Whether or not other people reach out to you - they need a lift from you. So help them. You don’t need the small print to help with the large print.

My love to you all - Dad

My beloved Father coached me that there were three topics one NEVER discussed in a barber’s shop (or amongst people about whose views you were unaware) namely politics, religion and sex (NOT gender). Over recent years I have never known so many people finding reasons to talk about politics - even in my barber’s shop. Too few people are voting yet more people than ever are clearly troubled about the political situation. I’m not wise enough to foresee where this leads - since we are not a riotous nation like the frogs who learn about throwing cobbles / bricks and burning other people’s cars at their mother’s knee. But there’s a big something wrong somewhere. Moving right along - -

Mixed sunshine and showers. Up at 4 this morning to watch the F1 at Melbourne. Did you see it? Lots of action and as for poor Jenson Button bursting into flames within sight of the finishing line - gutted or what?

So now we are completely disorientated as to time. But Herself is off to another Dolls House Fair next weekend with her teeny-tiny gardens and has been busy making stuff to sell whilst watching F1. Multi-tasking woman. Hearth rug taken over by lay-out for Stand so we can get it right. If only I knew how to put a photo on this blog I’d love to show you what she does. I’m so proud of her.

So where’s this stuff about men wearing a suit - but no tie - going? Not dressing properly shows disrespect to other people/ the occasion. In some circumstances not wearing a tie is OK - but NOT whilst wearing a suit. brown refusing to wear formal clothes to attend the highest profile City Banquet is an insult. Where are we going? Surely we should be lifting standards?

Because I once lived near Verulamium (St.Albans to you) I studied Roman history. The unresolved question was why did the Roman Empire collapse? And leave Italy a wreck. Why did the quite sophisticated Chinese Nation recede and is only now struggling to re-emerge? So why is our Nation imploding? We are closing down sundry embassies / consulates around the world. Is there some kind of pendulum-swing within a Nation that takes hundreds of years to swing? How can I understand this stuff?

The good news is that Julian arrives on Wednesday to start his assault on the garden. I’ve let it go because I wasn’t well but I want it brought back up to a decent standard. Seems a nice bloke - keep your fingers crossed for me.

Head down now - zzzz - 4 am was a long time ago.

The middle of the night is an awful time for most of us. Guilt; horrors; sins of omission and commission invade the mind.

What’s passed is past. Look forwards. Think forwards. Imagine tomorrow. We can’t revisit and change yesterday whether we were victim or cause. We all suffer backward-looking guilt and pain. We were wrong. But tomorrow we can be more right.

Fond love to you all - Dad